elizabeth taylor

March 25, 2011 at 1:42 pm (death, dying, gratitude, leaving)

today elizabeth taylor died of congestive heart failure. she was diagnosed in 2009, I was diagnosed in 2008. it took a few minutes to process that she has died from the same disease that is taking my life. earlier I spoke to a friend that has a brother, diagnosed the same time I was, with a higher functioning heart and he has not suffered the kidney failure and multi-system failure that I have. His brother says he is happy, deteriorating as am I. It touched me to hear that he is moving in the same direction I am. We have both decided to make new memories every chance we get. are you the living doing that? I wonder and hope for you that you are. I take every opportunity to be kind and spend time with those I love. I choose to put on a happy face as some would see it, but I’ll be damned if I am going to be remembered as the sad one or the complaining one. the living will have time for sadness I do not. for valentine day my husband took me to a beautiful old large inn in the mountains for a valentine getaway. we had never done this before since we had so many ahead of us and it seemed like a waste when everyday is valentine for us. we went and I could be sad since I spent each day in our room, we had room service and napped and just hung out. the last night was the big “ball” and I had a new dress, shoes the whole works. my husband is a handsome man even at 20 yrs my senior. the beauty of the moment was that while so many look back and say if I had known this was the last time I would have ….. but I knew this was the last time we would go to such a beautiful place and it was the last time I would dance with the man I love more than my own life. How lucky is that?

1 Comment

  1. Ashley Kling said,

    That is amazing to know….To dress up and go to a ball and dance with the one you love and know that its going to be the last time that the two of you will have that. And both of you knowing that had to make the night much more memrable,

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