this too shall pass….

December 20, 2011 at 10:31 pm (family, friends, holidays, hope, Uncategorized) (, , , )

one moment I am asking how much fun can a girl have and get away with it, the next I am getting the answer.  the last few days have been so much fun, seeing friends, getting out and just feeling normal for a while.  last night just before some friends arrived at our house I started feeling the physical toll that can sometimes come on so quickly I get whip-lash.  then they are at the door and life fills the room.  there is no room here for thoughts of anything but sheer joy.  baby g is dancing, tinliz who arrived in a funk seems to be breaking through, hd, or the baby mama, is looking tired but appears to be happy to be here with us in this moment.  k is her usual sweet self and it is easy to put worries aside for this time.  this moment, this memory being made.  every fiber of my being is warning me, how can I listen now?  now I am rushing toward happiness and the kind of love and contentment that feeds the soul.  this has been my hope and my goal all year-long, another holiday with my family.  whether it be one more or … the important thing is it is another year. another opportunity to love and be loved. 

so I have to believe that this will pass, the truth is even if it doesn’t I am happy.  hope lives here, here in my heart.  it is not the same kind of hope experienced a few years ago. it is so different as to be almost unrecognized. much like an old married couple who has loved for so many years they have not stopped to think of how their love for each other has become so much more than it was in the beginning.  my hope has become not that I will live forever but that I will live in the memories and hearts of others for their forever.

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