treat your family

September 20, 2012 at 3:07 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

over time i have shared some of the advice given to patients, friends and students.  in my regular life it was my goal to never give advice if it was not asked for and to always remind myself and others that i would not want anyone to substitute my judgement for theirs.  many times i have watched friendships and families struggle with arguments and hard feelings simply because someone gave advice that wasn’t taken.

this is a piece of advise i have used once or twice in  my life.  it is always my intent to treat everyone with respect but i am after all human.  what are these words to live by? simple- treat your family as well as you would someone you want to be friends with.  when we are dating someone  we want to make a good impression so there will be no nagging, cussing them out or belittling them.

from experience i also learned we should never say something to someone we would not want to be the last words they hear.  there were a couple of times when working on oncology and the er i was witness to this horror.  a man says to his dying wife she is driving him crazy, she is selfish and he just needs to take a break.  within 10 min. she was deceased.  he had gone out the back by the dock to smoke so he didn’t hear us page him.  i will forever see his face and hear his sobs.  before this event in my life i had experiences to help me understand just how fragile life is. this really lives in my heart.

family is not always the people we are born to. we create family.  even when we are born in to this group it is our choice to create this bond we call family.  i have a very close bond with my ys and was blessed to marry the man who is my best friend, and the love of my life. through this i also gained my step-daughter friends.

there is so much on my mind tonight that i hope to share here over the next few days.  please think about what you say, once the words are said they can not be taken back.  someone may choose to forgive you but we all know forgetting is another thing all together.  so please never miss a chance to say i love you, never miss a chance to tell someone how much they mean to you. treat your family and friends like the treasures they are.  don’t wait until it is too late.



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