saying goodbye

September 27, 2012 at 11:24 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

growing up these were words i dreaded.  it was always in the back of my mind that someday my grandmother and i would go to california and i would have to stay.  i knew i was going to say goodbye to my grandmother and it would be painful.  when the time came it was more painful than i had imagined.

now i know that there will be a time when goodbyes are going to be needed.   there is a good chance that i will simply die in my sleep.  well that is if i get the defibrillator disconnected.   if things do not go that gently, goodbyes will most likely need to be said.  this is not something i have given a lot of thought to. i have found that writing here helps me process and the feedback gives me food for thought.

one possibility i have been pondering would be to say goodbyes through letters left behind or the videos i plan to make.  an amazing woman who shares the plight of her family and her daughter who has a terminal illness, made the remark (the daughter) that she thought she had more time.  it turned out she does have more time, however, the remark made me start thinking.  we always think we have more time until we don’t.

there have been times when my heart was failing, my kidneys were failing, and the last thing i would want to do is say goodbye at those times.

is there a kind way to skip goodbyes or make some alternative arrangement?

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