a soft place to land

March 22, 2014 at 5:12 am (end stage congestive heart failure, heart failure and exhaustion, how does it feel to die, support system, the dr. says) ()

he does so much for me, though it is hard to say what i value most, i believe it has to be that soft place to land.  since we first started dating he has been the one i could go to with the knowledge that i would be embraced and supported, no words had to be spoken.

in my opinion, as we get older one of the most wonderful things we can have is a soft place to land.  whether that person is your life partner, family or a dear friend.

the physical landing i am blessed with is not the only loving, supportive soft place.  it came rather unexpectedly, first words of support and later words such as my dear friend, love and hugs. yes my friends you have blessed me with an alternative soft place to land.  some of you are going through almost the same situation i am, some have lost loved ones or are in the process of losing someone dear, some deal with mental health issues that make life more difficult than we can know.  but there you are, telling me you care. telling me i am accepted for who i am.

having the endoscopy and colonoscopy would identify where the bleeding is ( most likely) and then it could be stopped.  i see the benefit of having these tests.  i know i am not going to let anyone biopsy my liver or kidneys. there is no point. psychologically and legally i believe dr’s, although they care, are mindful of not being sued and may feel guilty if they are not offering “something’ to a person in my situation.

tonight when i have doubts about my decisions i am grateful for the comments that offer support and humor.  i am mindful and grateful of all you give me. to know that i am not alone in these late hours means more to me than you know.  i admire and respect that given you have your own life that you are trying to live, you take the time to catch me so i don’t fall.  from my heart to yours i want to acknowledge and thank you all for being a soft place for me to land and i hope that i am able to offer the same for you.


  1. jmgoyder said,

    So sorry I didn’t see this earlier – I hope you can feel my hugs.

  2. Judy said,

    Well, I’ve started off my morning with tears for you Sandra. I have not wanted to imagine not reading your words or having you read mine with love and compassion. I treasure you. If I am part of your soft landing – it is truly an honor. As far as making decisions go, all I know is that it is best to follow one’s intuition. You are very wise and have enough experience to make thoughtful choices. Trust yourself. I cannot imagine trusting anyone more. I love you.

    • s blake callahan said,

      i will always be reading your words and listening to your beautiful music! i think and hope that we are part of a group that provides a loving soft place for each of us to fall. i will always be there to catch you, you just have to believe as much as i do my friend. sending love and hugs

      • Judy said,

        Thank you, Sandra. I believe, I believe. I just finished a new song and felt inspired by you and Chris as I wrote it. Love cannot die.

  3. Laurie said,

    When I first came to your blog I didn’t comment, afraid that my realistic cynicism be taken as indifference or meanness. Now, however, I know that we understand, respect, and appreciate each other.
    I care so much about you.
    Thank you for your explanations. I am with you.

    • s blake callahan said,

      when dealing with these types of issues i would hope for some cynicism and calling bs where we think there is bs:) it would be disingenuine and therefore a waste of my time and yours if you did not speak from your hear and your truth. i love that you challenged me and continue to be my real friend and not a yes woman! wouldn’t we just both hate that??

  4. cho wan yau said,

    touching we all need a soft place to land and know someone will catch us when we fall

    • s blake callahan said,

      no matter who we are or where we are i do believe we need this soft place to land. to know that other’s care and will catch us is only human nature. to have it we must give it

      • cho wan yau said,

        Yes absolutely. I crashed headlong onto concrete when I most needed safe loving hands to catch me!

      • s blake callahan said,

        i am so sorry to hear that! we deserve a safe and loving place to fall at the end of the day. take the time to surround yourself with loving and giving people. as long as you are willing to do the same for them.

      • cho wan yau said,

        That is why I am particularly sensitive to the lost and lonely

      • s blake callahan said,

        good things often come out of bad, sounds like that may have happened to you. i am so sorry to hear that. keep believing in peace of heart my friend.

      • cho wan yau said,


  5. Terry said,

    I love and respect you. I love having you for a friend. Hugs my friend

  6. prenin said,

    Love and huge hugs Sandy – may I always be there for you!!! 🙂

    God Bless!


    • s blake callahan said,

      sir prenin
      you make such a difference in my life.
      you are truly a friend to all
      chris and i send big hugs and love to you

  7. Syl Miller-Davenport said,

    I admire you so…You remain so positive, it’s an inspiration. I hope one day when I grow up, if I ever grow up, I will be able to be as strong and positive as you. Love and hugs, Syl

    • s blake callahan said,

      syl you are so much stronger than you know! you always have been and always will be. please stay as you are and don’t look for this world of adults who doubt and make life ugly with their fear and doubt.

      love and hugs to you my friend

  8. Al & Alice said,

    Guess I didn’t realize until this past week how much support you provide me. Ironically the caregiver, not the dying. We just went thought a week from hell. Alice has had 7 days of diarrhea that looks like it has finally slowed down. Having cultures done to see if bacterial, viral or what. Think she may have picked it up in the salad she had eating out. Anyway, I found myself looking forward to your next blog and was so thankful I have someone that I can share with that has some understanding of what Alice and I are really going through. The image that your “safe place to land” generates is very comforting. Thank you.

    • s blake callahan said,

      we are often, in marriage, that safe place for each other. the problem can be when one person becomes ill and the other is now the designated “caregiver.” being the ill person we not ofen allowed the role of that safe place and yet it is one of the most important roles we will play in our lives.

      i am sorry that alice had a rough week, i can definetly understand what you are going through and we think of you both.

  9. appletonavenue said,

    Here’s to a soft landing, my wise and wonderful friend.

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