lean in to it

May 29, 2014 at 1:35 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

this seems to be the new buzz words.  today we went to one of our favorite hang outs, the book store.  as i perused magazines an article written by a buddhist monk caught my eye.  the subject was chronic pain, her into was “lean in to it.”  she went over the usual number one tenet of that life is suffering.

her point was that people with chronic pain need to “lean in to” their pain.  this is not really a new thought.  from the beginning i have done what so many other’s have been doing.  we accept our pain as part of our life.

the place where we part ways on is when she says that people with chronic pain have the commonality of hypervigilance.  the person with pain focuses to heavily on their pain.   this sounds too much like blaming the person suffering for the suffering.  people with chronic pain carry too much guilt as it is.  the last thing we need is someone saying it is our “fault” that we are suffering.

i realize the connection of this event and continue to appreciate how the universe communicates with us if we just listen.  as i sit here, 2 in the morning, suffering angina pain off and on for the past 7 hours.  interesting how my body and mind work together.  i can’t help but wonder if this is the beginning some major even life ending event or is it just a passing opportunity to grow?

is “lean in to it” a new thought? though it may be the first time it has been said for some in a way they can relate to, just a short time ago it was “it is what it is.”  these are words i have lived by my  whole life and it has been one of the best gifts my grandmother ever gave me.  so accepting and embracing what life brings to us is now leaning in to it.  no matter what we call it accepting and loving the body we have over the body we mourn will reduce our suffering.  whether these are the last words or a drop in the ocean i embrace and appreciate the comfort i have found in my life and here with the friends i have made.  i appreciate that this body has done it’s best to serve me in this life.

over the past week it seemed as though the infusions are making a difference.  it has been a true blessing for me to feel some level of normalcy.  for now i give in to the weariness. i will surrender to sleep and will be grateful for another day if it is granted. i go to this place of restoration with peace in my heart.  that would be my wish for other’s, peace of heart. that and that you find the love you deserve, i have been blessed in this last part of my life with a love that lifts me up.



  1. Judy said,

    I don’t even know what to say to this, Sandra. You have been so supportive and loving to me. I am struggling with pain right now and what you wrote is so helpful – thank you. I hope you know that you will continue to be my inspiration. I carry all of your words in my heart. I’m very uplifted to hear that the infusions have brought you some relief. I hope you know that I appreciate your words to me and your blog. Despite your low energy, you keep writing. You cannot imagine how many friends you have in the blogosphere that treasure you for opening your heart to us.

    • s blake callahan said,

      judy you are so warm and loving. i so wish you didn’t have to go through the pain with your eyes. it does strike me that your pain is in your eyes and for so many years you didn’t truly “see” the world around you. the irony for me is i have “carried” so much in my heart and now it is that same heart that is failing. of course heart disease runs in my family. i enjoy reading your blog and listening to your music. it would have been a shame if you had not been able to return to what you love and heals you. warm hugs and love my friend

  2. prenin said,

    Living with chronic pain must be hard. 😦

    I have joint pain, but it is nothing compared with what you go through my friend and I often wince in sympathy at the thought of what you go through every day. 😦

    Love and huge squishy hugs sweetheart! 🙂

    God Bless!


    • s blake callahan said,

      the surprising thing for me is when i hear/read about people who seem to really suffer with their chronic pain. for me it is like background noise. of course there are times when the volume is too loud but that passes.

      i am so grateful for every day and feel you cheer me on. please protect yourself from doug and his antics.

      love and hugs to you my friend

  3. Laurie said,

    Semantics is interesting. Since I have faith in nothing, I refuse to “embrace”, but to “lean in” might be possible.
    When people say “It is what it is”, I ask what “IT” is; no one understands the question.

    • s blake callahan said,

      it is semantics though isn’t it? whether it is lean in to it or it is what it is, both encourage us to accept what we cannot change. using our energy for the things that we can make a difference in. when i think of this i go back to my triage days. we had to learn quickly to assess injuries and with some we gave morphin to comfort while we moved on to those we could treat and possibly save. it was so difficult at first to make that decision to walk away from someone who was in their last moments. this lesson just reinforced what my grandmother had taught me from a young age.

      whatever words or language used if it helps you to embrace rather than push against i hope it brings you peace. how wonderful though that you are trying to find your way to that place of peace that i believe waits for you.

  4. appletonavenue said,

    Your posts are always so inspiring, and this one is no exception. I think I understand that people in pain are ‘hypervigilent’ and concentrate too much on their pain, but I don’t believe someone in chronic pain can do anything else. With pain such a prominent part of one’s life, you must think about it each day in order to gather yourself together and get through another day.

    I’m glad the infusions seem to be helping you. Everyone needs some relief from pain, and I’m glad for you that you are doing them.

    I wish for continued peace for you.

    • s blake callahan said,

      i completely understand that some people with chronic pain are what this author named hyper-vigilance. the thing that bothered me was it seemed as though she were blaming these people for their own pain. funny since she spent the first couple of years actually in bed. she is just now coming out in to the living room. she also writes for psychology today! crazy, just really crazy!

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