a good day?

October 5, 2014 at 2:57 am (Uncategorized) (a great day, congestive heart failure, death with dignity, disconnecting the defib, gratitude when dying, heart failure and exhaustion, how does it feel to die, implanted defibrillator, kidney failure, leg rubs and hope for better days ahead, living with dying, making memories, the dr. says, waiting for the end)

as he does every night, he gives me a kiss on my lips and hand. then he says “as always thank you for a great day.”

oh dear it has been a great day indeed.

i fell asleep about 8 am and woke at 11:45.  moving about in a bit of a haze i decided to make he and i eggs. that should be easy, right?  as long as i can keep all my fingers and not fall over one of the cats. work in the insulin and pills, heat the pan, slice, whisk and then there it all is.  i notice it is not cooking evenly but my balance is getting worse so we never liked hard eggs anyway.

eggs served and eaten, nap time, i wake again very late and he goes for take out.  we eat and watch a saved masterpiece mystery.  he rubs my legs that have been giving me great pain. oh his tough is still the thing that can bring me to my knees.

a couple funny shows and then he is off to bed.  it is nearly 4 a.m.. and i will soon join him. i am hoping for sleep. no not that peaceful eternal sleep, not until i decommission this badge in my chest. just sleep, may be i”ll be able to spend more time with him.

that is a great day to look forward too. yes looking forward is what we do a lot of these days. the nitroglycerin will make times easier though i think his leg rubs may beat them for effectiveness:)

 

a coffe at starbucks after visiting our favorite place barnes and noble:)

our first road trip where we learned we really enjoyed each others company!