keep making that to-do list

December 16, 2011 at 1:44 am (coping, gratitude, joy) (, , , )

4 a.m. is a great time to work on the to-do list.  by this time any hold out for sleep has passed, time to organize the cd’s or all those pesky plastic storage containers that disappear with the socks in the wash.  if that is too much then it is on to the list.  the mind boggles at the idea of some who seldom make such a list.  it has been my habit for many years and has served me well in general.  at the beginning of this journey one way to cope and put things in to perspective was to revert to the list.  to my joy this has turned in to a multiple list job.  vikto frankyl recommends we find the joy/purpose in our life and we will be able to face even the most devastating circumstances.  if it was good enough for this holocaust survivor it seemed good enough for me.  as the list has diminished some concern/thoughts turned to a quote stating that is when you know you are done with life. if there is nothing else you want to do (and I am hoping they mean the small things like waking up) then there is a void and death sneaks in to fill it. 

it may be purposeful indeed how some items on my list are still outstanding.  now after a conversation with my man it occurs to me how I can do something that will bring him joy in years to come.  he often says he is not of this era and feels he has been left behind by technology. it would seem geekdom in our family belongs to me.  as de-cluttering continues at a snail’s pace, it is apparent the old vhs tapes are not going to be donated and will not be enjoyed in the future unless they are converted to dvd’s.  this it seems has made me almost giddy, do you know how long it is going to take to complete this task?  I am not the kind of person who walks away from a job not finished and it is such a gift to add this to my dwindling list.

after christmas, sharing information regarding what a caregiver can expect from a terminal loved one is on the list.  fascinating that a m.d. would think himself qualified to write this. it is almost laughable, it begins pretty strong and quickly goes downhill.  this is not a person who has suffered personal loss.  projecting some months to the new project and then there are always holidays, birthdays and …. well the list does go on.  one more thing to be grateful for, think I will put it on my list:)

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