Oprah says “what I know for sure”

September 17, 2011 at 10:18 am (friends, gratitude, hope, living, love) (, , , )

each month at the end of Oprah magazine there is an article entitled “what I know for sure.” I don’t get the mag each month but on occasion I do and always read this last article. it fascinates me that anyone feels they are sure about so many things in life. even now when I would hope for some sudden wave of wisdom to wash over me and give me clarity, I can not say I am any more sure of things than I was before. I have noticed however that even Oprah sometimes contradicts what she has stated earlier to be something she knows for sure. so my guess is we all may think at different times of our life that we know something, then some new experience changes our view.

my relationship with my mother, like so many other’s, is complicated. she has some issues with her heart, she had to have bypass surgery, and a few weeks ago she became quite ill. my sister Mandy called me and said she was taken by ambulance and did not think she was going to make it out. much to my surprise I was upset. if you had asked me before this call if I would feel bad I would have said no. not that I don’t care just that we aren’t that close. much to my surprise I went from being very practical about the steps that would need to be taken to tears. my poor husband didn’t know what to think but he was his usual supportive loving self. I should say he was supportive until I went into unrealistic expectations of myself. my middle sister lives the closest and has not been the most dependable person in our family. she also has a love- hate relationship with our mother. so I started thinking I would have to go to california and take care of things. my mother had also requested that my husband come to settle everything in the event of her death. there was no way I wanted him to take that on and I am not supposed to fly or travel far from home. so here is the shocker and changed what I thought I knew for sure. Mandy went to the hospital every day, she called me with information and updates. she also said she knew that mom wanted Chris or me to take care of things and she would be happy to help in any way she could. I had to take a moment and really grasp how different she was from what I thought based on prior experience. my youngest sister tends to be much more practical and cuts through the bull in a way Mandy never did. here she was though being so much more than I realized she could be. I love my sister but I now have some respect for her. I know when the time comes if I am still here I don’t have to worry. not about this anyway, my sisters are going to handle whatever comes and they don’t need me to do it for them.

something I do know for sure? well that would be that every day and night I feel blessed to have the life I have and can’t complain about it not being as long as I would like. the love of family and friends is a powerful thing to have in your life no matter what you are facing. each email, text, phone call and visit means so much to me. yesterday was my husbands birthday and he received calls from family and friends from all over, we had a small celebration and my step-friend heather, along with some close friends came over for a few hours to celebrate with us. while here one friend’s, one year old daughter took her first steps! what a miracle that was. to be allowed to be a part of that moment was such joy. seeing heather always makes me feel better and thinking about the coming months when we will see other family, our Charleston family, gives me great hope. dr. s did say he thought I would make it through the holidays and that was good news. not to be ungrateful but I think the holidays go through the middle of february at least.

whatever time I have I do know this for sure, I am grateful and just want to live each day to the fullest. to my friend Michelle, I hope you know for sure how much I care and respect you. to my family and friends who have become like family I hope you know how much I love and care about you. please know this for sure I am always with you no matter what!

1 Comment

  1. Stephenie Lokken said,

    All correct.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: