my secret, urgent care and the choice
one of the things i hate the most about this disease is the time it steals from us. it has been about 10 days since you said that you get lonely when i am sleeping. hearing that made my heart ache for you and the love i have for you just grew a little bit deeper. i wanted to hold you and tell you that you would never be lonely again. not being able to do that with honesty i made a decision to give you all i had.
to do this i not only have to push myself beyond what i have ever done before. the other decision i made was to stop my medication for a period of time to give you as many waking hours as possible. what good is it to live longer if i am sleeping through our life.
yesterday i had to go to urgent care, it should have been the e.r. . the dr was young and very kind. he gave me a shot for pain and a prescription for antibiotics along with a prescription for a non-narcotic pain medication. he also recommended that i go to the hospital. what went unsaid was i will not go to the hospital. aside from the pain and effects of not taking my meds i noticed my blood pressure was high and looking back it has been high for a few months.
i recognize that the high blood pressure along with the blinding headaches are my body telling me it is time to go back on my medication. part of my dilemma is we are going to charleston for thanksgiving and i want to be immersed in that experience. so do i continue to go without the meds and risk….
the dr. says 
prenin said,
November 24, 2014 at 5:53 am
Love and hugs my friend.
Wish I could deliver them in person! 🙂
God Bless you always.
Prenin.
s blake callahan said,
December 1, 2014 at 1:22 am
that would be amazing!
love and hugs to you my friend:)
tersiaburger said,
November 24, 2014 at 10:07 am
What can I say? I want you to take your meds but the decision is yours. Have a great time!! Love as always
s blake callahan said,
December 1, 2014 at 1:35 am
i appreciate your support and please trust me that i have been giving this a lot of thought. we did have a great time in charleston and it was so wonderful to see the family. i think of you and your family often. sending love and hugs
Judy said,
November 24, 2014 at 11:25 am
Sandra, I’m certain you will make the best decision you can about this. The trade offs are hard for me to imagine that it’s something you could feel decisive about. Every challenge and choice you have made comes from a place of love. Just know that whatever you do is okay; I support you 100%. It’s not easy to compromise the future for the present, but one never knows the future. Thinking of you and praying you are able to have a comfortable Thanksgiving. I am thankful for you!
s blake callahan said,
December 1, 2014 at 1:39 am
thank you judy for your kind words of support. i am grateful for your friendship and feel you understand my dilemma.
Terry said,
November 24, 2014 at 11:43 am
That has to be a very difficult decision. Stay a wake or feel better. I hope you get to enjoy all you wish on Thanksgiving day my sweet friend. Rest, so you will be up to the big day
s blake callahan said,
December 1, 2014 at 1:40 am
we had a great time with our family in charleston and look forward to the rest of the holidays. sending you big hugs and love my friend.
Terry said,
December 1, 2014 at 12:16 pm
Oh I am so happy you were able to enjoy the holiday. That just makes me smile so big. Wishing you wonderful holidays ahead dearest friend. Big hugs and lots of love coming right at you!!!!
s blake callahan said,
December 2, 2014 at 8:54 pm
i am just so grateful to have this time and don’t look too far ahead. i am glad you had a good thanksgiving as well and wish you a wonderful christmas. after that i just take it one day at a time like so many others.
sending you love and hugs my friend
Terry said,
December 2, 2014 at 10:37 pm
I like that you take one day at a time. If you looked too far ahead, you would miss all the good in the moment. Love and hugs dear friend
s blake callahan said,
December 9, 2014 at 9:55 pm
if more people took things one day at a time they would be much happier:) all we have is this moment, guess that is one reason i like your pics so much.
big warm hugs and love to you my friend, and wishing you a merry christmas. please send me your new address by email so i may send you are card.
Terry said,
December 9, 2014 at 11:45 pm
You will think of me as silly or crazy, but I love every word you have ever written that I have been honored to read. You are the most amazing woman! You are the one who gives me courage to keep going. To fight the tears and be thankful for the time I had with my brother. I love you my friend. I sent you an email just now. God bless and Merry Christmas. Hugs