my lucky bad day

September 24, 2015 at 5:02 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

at the end of my day yesterday i sat in our double recliner, feet up and a cozy throw on my legs.  i couldn’t help but smile.  it was a particularly tough day physically.  i had some errands to run, angie and i wanted to spend some time together so off we go.

as of late my physical symptoms have escalated.  this comes as no surprise and yet we are somehow, briefly surprised and even confused.  walking 15-20 feet can leave me breathless and with chest pain.  during the day we accommodated my failing heart the best we could.  our last stop i could feel my heart struggling to keep up with my mind. we laughed and made bad jokes that might meet with disapproval from others.  this time has been so precious for us both.

me: i am so lucky.

her: why do you say that you’re lucky?

me: just think about it, i am here with you, i have a loving husband and friends.  i have lived my life the way i wanted, having adventures others might only dream of.

at this point i talked about even the most mundane pleasures, having a washer and dryer,  i hated going to the laundrymat!  to have air conditioning during these hot summer days, central heat during the winter are gifts i never take for granted.  to have the last job be the job of my dreams.  surrounded by family, friends and cats that i adore make me one of the luckiest women alive.

each day when i wake i take a moment to think about the many wonderful days i have had.  there may not be so many ahead of me but that matters little to me now.  if i shed a tear now it is for my loved ones who will hurt when i leave.  until that last breathe and perhaps beyond i will know that i am one lucky woman.  i think of that little boy washing up on the beach and i cry for him and his loved ones.  his mother and brother also died at that time.  to think of their suffering and the young lives not lived to their fullest.  too many take this offering called life for granted.  they don’t fully appreciate what they have been given.  i do not judge them, i just feel so sorry for them.  we all deserve to love our life and to feel as though we are lucky to have this life.

angie and chris in yosemite

angie and chris in yosemite

17 Comments

  1. prenin said,

    Sandy, life is a game to play well, but no matter what good we do and how many we help grow and develop, we’re the only ones who never see the final score, or know it was Game Over! 🙂

    You are a magnificent human being and I love you with all my heart! 🙂

    Love and hugs to you and yours!!! 🙂

    Prenin.

    • s blake callahan said,

      the crazy wonderful thing is i do know when my game is over!

      your kind words mean so much to me. i love you deeply my friend and think of you every day!

      love and hugs to you! as a matter of fact my sister and chris have come to think you a friend and ask me how you are each day.

      • prenin said,

        🙂

        Nice to be appreciated hun! 🙂

        Love to everyone! 🙂

        Prenin.

  2. jmgoyder said,

    I continue to learn so much from you, Sandra. You really are absolutely amazing!

    • s blake callahan said,

      such high praise really makes me feel unworthy. i do so appreciate your kindness and feel the same about you!

      sending love and hugs to you and yours

  3. Angie, also known as YS :) said,

    I’m so lucky to be here with you. I love you ♥️

    • s blake callahan said,

      we aren’t lucky, we work on our relationship to keep it close and have good communication.

      we are lucky! being born to the same mother and having the luck to stay close for all these years!

      we are so lucky to have this time together and it means everything to me.

  4. Syl said,

    You are so an amazing woman. I am blessed for having the opportunity to know you. Thank you friend for all the good advise, for all the support you gave me, for being an amazing role model, and mostly for being the person you are. Love and hugs, Syl

    • s blake callahan said,

      oh syl, you have always been perfect just the way you are. i count myself fortunate to have meet you and spent time with you. you are such a loving and giving spirit my friend. i can’t imagine what i taught you but am honored to think i may have.

      sending you love and light

  5. Terry said,

    You truly are a blessed woman and I am a blessed woman for having gotten to know you. Big hugs, lots of love to you and your family

    • s blake callahan said,

      it is important to honor our friends no matter where they are or what they do. i find myself blessed to have a friend such as you!

  6. Judy said,

    Oh, Sandra – I know you treasure your life, I wish you didn’t have the burden of these escalating symptoms. As always, I appreciate you and your words touch me. Life is precious and I have learned so much from you.

    • s blake callahan said,

      judy i never think any of my symptoms are a burden. for me they simply are. they remind me that we each have our own journey.i so look forward to seeing you and need to email you to discuss details and timing. unfortunately i have gotten much worse since the last time we met. we all die sometime, that is not tragedy.i just want to live through another holiday season.

      • Judy said,

        I’ll go with the flow, Sandra. When you’re able to let me know some dates – I’ll come see you. It would be such an honor and I know the time is getting closer. It feels to me that there will be another beautiful holiday season for you. Sending love.

  7. appletonavenue said,

    Such a lovely post. I hope I can find such contentment again.

    • s blake callahan said,

      linda it waits for you to claim it my friend. i know things have been difficult for you but i send you love and light to find your way through this fog.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: